The Four Phases of Cancer

A human map for an inhuman experience

Cancer is not a single event.
It is a journey that unfolds in phases, each with its own emotional, physical, and psychological demands.

This is not a rigid framework.
It’s a compassionate orientation to help you feel less lost, less alone, and more grounded in what you may be experiencing.

You may move through these phases linearly, circle back to them, or experience parts of several at once. All of that is normal.

Phase One

Landing & Diagnosis

What happens
You sit in front of a doctor or oncologist and hear the words:
“You have cancer.”

In that moment, everything changes.
The world you knew no longer feels the same. What once mattered may suddenly feel distant or irrelevant.

Common emotional experiences
Shock. Fear. Disbelief. Panic.
A sense of entering an unfamiliar reality you did not choose.

The next hurdle
Choosing, or being asked to commit to, a doctor, oncologist, or medical team.

The obvious challenge
Coming to terms with what is happening.
For some, this includes seeking a second opinion as a way to find clarity or peace of mind.

The hidden challenge
You may feel terrified while also trying to appear calm, capable, or brave.
You might find yourself managing not only your own emotions, but the emotions of those around you.

Being called “strong” or “courageous” can feel strangely disconnected from your inner experience.

Gentle guidance
You are in shock, even if you appear composed.
There may be moments of terror, numbness, distraction, or emotional overwhelm.

You do not need to know anything yet.
You do not need to be positive.
You do not need to hold this alone.

Allow yourself to feel whatever arises within trusted relationships, at a pace that feels safe.
Give yourself grace. This is difficult, no matter who you are.

Phase Two

Decision Making

What happens
A diagnosis is followed by decisions.
Treatment plans are proposed. Options are discussed. Timelines emerge.

Common emotional experiences
Anxiety. Irritability. Fear. Dis association.
For many, this is the most frightening phase of the journey.

The next hurdle
Agreeing to or choosing a treatment approach, whether traditional, alternative, or integrative.

The obvious challenge
Deciding which treatment path to follow, often while feeling emotionally flooded and physically exhausted.

The hidden challenge
Beneath the surface, many people carry the belief that this decision is a matter of life and death.
Even with a positive prognosis, the weight of responsibility can feel enormous.

Some people decide quickly.
Others feel paralysed.

Both responses are valid.

Gentle guidance
Your body holds information, even when your mind feels overwhelmed.
Pay attention to sensations, tension, and subtle signals, especially in moments of quiet.

You do not need certainty.
You need enough trust to take the next step.

If you can commit to a decision with support, allow space for emotional processing, and make small grounded choices along the way, you create a steadier foundation for the treatment phase ahead.

Phase Three

Treatment Resilience

What happens
Treatment begins.
There may be a clear end date, or a sense of “let’s see how this goes”.

You step onto the roller coaster.

Common emotional experiences
Determination. Jitters. Uncertainty. Anxiety. Hope.

Often all in the same day.

The next hurdle
Moving through treatment while navigating side effects, emotional fatigue, and unknown outcomes.

The obvious challenge
Managing emotional responses on good days and on difficult days.

The hidden challenge
Staying grounded when symptoms change unexpectedly, without losing hope or clinging to unrealistic expectations.

The highs and lows can feel extreme.

Gentle guidance
This is a roller coaster.
Good days and bad days are part of the terrain.

You will not always know how you will feel from one moment to the next.
That is not failure. It is the reality of treatment.

Lean into connection, especially when you feel like withdrawing.
Be discerning with where you place your emotional energy.
Your mental and emotional wellbeing is sacred and deserves protection.

A quiet reminder

These phases are not something to “do well”.
They are something to move through with honesty, support, and compassion.

This is where my work begins.
Not to fix you.
Not to rush you forward.
But to walk alongside you as you make sense of what has happened and what comes next.