THE 4 PHASES OF CANCER

PHASE ONE: Landing & diagnosis

What happened: You sat in front of a doctor or oncologist who said the words “you have cancer”!

Feelings associated: shock, fear, disbelief & panic. You have entered a new reality. Nothing you look at looks the same or has the same value. Can you compassionately accept “what is”?

Next hurdle: You are likely going to find or be asked to commit to a medical practitioner/doctor/oncologist or team.

The obvious challenge:

Move towards accepting where you are and the “what is” of your diagnosis and/or ask for a second opinion (some seek this as a process toward peace of mind).

The hidden challenge:

You can have moments of being terrified and feel the urge to “manage” your own emotions. You might also feel the need to manage others emotions by projecting confidence and optimism. This is affirmed when others call you brave and courageous, but these labels don’t resonate!

Guidance @ your most vulnerable…

Everything has changed and you can have moments of terror and many of being numb or distracted. Allow as much emotional expression within your trusted relationships as you are able. You don't have any control and it's ok to be there, to not know and to feel overwhelmed. Give yourself grace - this is difficult no matter who you are!

PHASE TWO: Decision Making

What happened: 

You have been diagnosed, now you have to decide or agree on what treatment plan; traditional, alternative or integrative to commit to!

Feelings associated:

Anxiety, irritability, fear & dis-association (unknown outcome expectation meets unknown treatment) For many this can be the most frightening space of a journey.

Next hurdle: You are going to be asked to decide or agree on a proposed treatment plan.

The obvious challenge:

Decide on what treatment (traditional/primary treatment and adjunctive therapies - if relevant) to follow.

The hidden challenge:

Your next decision has a life and death impact. This is mostly a subconscious belief, no matter your prognosis. For some this step is easy, for others it's the hardest part of the journey. How do you make the right decision, in the most vulnerable state you have experienced?

Guidance @ your most vulnerable…

Your body knows the appropriate decision. This is difficult to understand but pay attention to your solar plexus tension - within it is a trustworthy guide.  

If you can trust your decision on what treatment to agree to, create a support network around yourself and process your emotions with courage rather than deny them, you will set yourself up for confidence in decision making during the treatment phase (otherwise known as a rollercoaster phase).

Focus on making confident small decisions and the big ones take care of themselves.

PHASE THREE: Treatment Resilience 

What happened: You picked your treatment plan which has a clear or “lets see” ending and you are setting your mind up to step onto the roller coaster. 

Feelings associated: Determined, jittery, uncertain, anxious and hopeful.

Next hurdle: Get through to the end of treatment with your mind, body and emotions intact. You might also have to work with treatment side effects and unknown treatment outcomes.

The obvious challenge:

Manage your emotions on good days (good treatment response) and bad days (unexpected negative treatment response).

The hidden challenge:

How do you cope with unexpected health symptoms and not lose hope while at the same time not over-inflating unrealistic expectations of a symptom free journey. High’s and lows can feel extreme and are to be expected! 

Guidance @ your most vulnerable…

It is a roller coaster, you will have good days and bad days. Allow both and know that you will not be able to know how you will feel from one moment to the next! Connect to those you love, more than you “feel” like it. Limit time with “sympaths”, even although they mean well, your mental health is sacred and needs prioritization.

PHASE FOUR: Oh $h!t, what now?

What happened: Your doctor is happy with how treatment has been completed and you are now ending your treatment, after a good outcome.

Alternatively your doctor might suggest a palliative treatment protocol (I would be happy to refer you to some excellent networks and practitioners).

Feelings associated: Optimistic, hopeful, tentative, fearful & survival depression.

Next hurdle: Step back into your life and begin to live your life again.

The obvious challenge:

It feels like there is not much of a challenge in this last phase, now that you are labelled as a “survivor” and the threat of your mortality has been lifted!

The hidden challenge:

Your support network returns to their lives and expects you to return to yours with gratitude, for surviving! But it’s not the bed of roses you expected?

The reality of how to live now begins to haunt those who change nothing and return to the old mould of their former lives.

If I don't change habits, behavior or my approach to life, how do I prevent myself from being re-diagnosed? If I change nothing, how do I expect a different result?

Guidance @ your most vulnerable…

This phase is largely unspoken and reveals a subconscious dilemma. Re-diagnosis fears are dominant in “survivorship”, usually triggered at check-ups. Depression is a very common result of surviving. 

It is worth reviewing your life with both courage & compassion in order to see what is working to support your health & your life as well as inversely, what might increase stress and inflammation.

You will likely have greater sensitivity emotionally to what you know does not serve your health.

By making small changes over time, you will be able to build resilience & confidence in your health holistically, which leads to greater contentment, joy as well as peace into your every daily life. 

The temptation is to go back to life as “normal”. In that lies the root of depression because your subconscious mind will seed doubt and anxiety. If nothing changes - your result could just be the same as it was,… a diagnosis.

The invitation is to explore and experiment with a healthier version of yourself - all the while reducing the fear of recurrence because you are tracking toward greater health and authenticity, which is a side effect of this work is a more authentic life, where you honor your needs more than you have before