Coaching with Brett

Identity Exploration & Intentional Habit Change

This is not coaching to help you cope better.

It’s coaching for people who sense that something deeper wants to shift.

I work with individuals who are willing to look honestly at who they’ve become, how they’ve learned to survive and succeed, and what those patterns are now creating in their lives.

At the heart of this work is a simple truth:

If we keep thinking, feeling, and acting in the same ways, we tend to get the same results.

Identity is the why.
Habits are the what.

Lasting change happens when both are explored together, with compassion and responsibility.

What this work invites

Most of us are living from identities shaped early in life.
They were intelligent adaptations at the time.
They helped us belong, cope, perform, or stay safe.

Over time, those same identities can quietly limit our freedom, relationships, health, or sense of meaning.

In our work together, we slow down enough to:

  • Make the unconscious patterns conscious

  • Understand how your thinking, feeling, and action styles interact

  • See the beliefs and emotional habits shaping your choices

  • Separate who you truly are from who you learned to be

This is not about becoming someone new.

It’s about meeting yourself with enough honesty and kindness that real choice becomes possible.

Identity (the WHY)

Identity answers the deeper questions:

  • Who am I when I’m under pressure?

  • What do I believe I need to do to be accepted, safe, or worthy?

  • Which stories am I still living from?

  • What feels true now, and what feels outdated?

We often use the Enneagram as a map to explore these patterns. Not as a label, but as a way of bringing language to what has been running automatically for years.

Acceptance comes first.
Change follows naturally from there.

Habits (the WHAT)

Once identity is clearer, habits stop being a battle of willpower.

We explore habits as expressions of belief, emotion, and nervous system patterning, not personal failure.

Together we look at:

  • Emotional habits and coping strategies

  • Stress responses and safety patterns

  • The stories that justify old behaviours

  • Small, intentional experiments that build trust with yourself

Habit change here is experiential.
It’s about learning through lived moments, not self criticism.

How I work

This is a collaborative relationship.

You bring your willingness, curiosity, and honesty.
I bring grounded tools, lived experience, and a steady presence.

We work at the pace of truth.
Sometimes gently. Sometimes directly.
Always with compassion and respect for what your system is ready to face.

There is room here for resistance, humour, frustration, insight, grief, relief, and growth.

Nothing about you needs to be fixed.
Some things may need to be seen clearly.

Who this is for

This work tends to resonate with people who:

  • Are navigating identity shifts, illness, recovery, or major life transitions

  • Are emotionally intelligent, yet feel stuck or misaligned

  • Lead, care for others, or perform at high levels and feel the cost of it

  • Are tired of repeating the same patterns with new awareness but no real shift

You don’t need to have answers.
You do need a willingness to be honest with yourself.

An invitation

If something in you is stirring as you read this, trust that.

We can explore whether working together feels like the right next step, without pressure or expectation.

Much kindness to yourself.