can I be with this? — Brett W Simpson

2025 has been an invitation to sit with discomfort, tension and the fear of the unknown, within my life but also in my observation of others in my life.

I wrote the first draft of this blog over a month ago, and as is consistent with every other blog I have written - that in which I ponder, life offers me an experience to understand it fully, in my bones.

The two things which have disarmed me into a raw, vulnerable and often insecure state over the past 20 years have been dealing with life threatening physical disease and financial lack/loss.

Both have been great teachers for me to scrutinize my belief system for a healthier change in perspective and a deep invitation to change how I respond, react and engage with these two kinds of “loss”

There is this place in a cancer journey which is, for most people, the darkest and scariest places they have or might ever experience.

It's the period between being diagnosed with cancer and the moment they decide on treatment.

This chapter of a cancer journey is filled with the most dramatic shift in how life is perceived. There is no certainty of anything, decisions feel impossible and emotions rapidly change and favor a really dark realisation - we are going to die!

We all know that but we don't believe it, make space for it or are ever offered the safety to be able to talk through this inevitability.

To become a coach who can sit comfortably with those on this path and in these moments, I had to go beyond my own experience of cancer and dive deep into exploring death, intellectually, emotionally and spiritually. I read, I meditated, experimented with Death Cafes and played with the 5 stages of grief within my own grief/loss and discovered the 6th stage which showed clearly the path, ultimate goal and offered a practical aspect to process grief.

As much work as I have done, I still fear death but it doesn’t have the flavour it once did ;-)

In my coaching practice I have also noticed that there are very few differences between this first phase of a cancer journey and the same feelings experienced by someone who suddenly got a divorced, lost their job, went bankrupt or lost a pet.

The subject might be different but the experience and intensity can track almost exactly.

What truly soothes those facing a cancer diagnosis is nothing more or less than an earnest acceptance of “WHAT IS”. It's not sexier, fancier or more complicated than that…

…but it does feel absolutely impossible and when posed to clients it more often brings up acute anger or acute sorrow.

So what is my point?

2025 has begun with a severe case of global uncertainty…

AI is here and will change our world faster than we likely will be able to digest and possibly be able to pivot.

Trump has 4 years in power with huge global influence, rips through changes we have never seen before.

Our perceived safety, in whatever we value most, is no longer predictable.

How do we pivot, flow, adjust and adapt to the pace of change, the perception of safety gone and the possibility of anything happening catching us off guard?

2025 thus far…

Dad gets rushed to hospital at 2am Sunday morning after passing out through lack of blood!

My men's group ends after 5 years - my safe place, my courage & growth space, my accountability. Finished!

One average Friday - every single person I coach cries their eyes out because of very different reasons. It is just too much! My heart breaks seeing the depth of their suffering.

Those funds have been exhausted - finished! No more!

Can I be with this?

…seems like the most graceful of questions to land, to ground and to restore thoughtful rather than emotionally charged decision making.

A very wise human, who I asked to mentor me last year, gave me some very insightful advice after setting me up with some powerful questions.

Question one: What happens in your body when you are scared?

Butterflies in my stomach!

Question two: What happens in your body when you are excited?

Butterflies in my stomach!

Do you see how fear and excitement hold the same physical sensation for you!

Yes Yoda ;-)

Well then what choice and personal action can you take in light of this?

How I choose to perceive uncertainty? And by choosing a perspective and then all my actions will reflect the choice/perspective?

Yes!