follow the breadcrumbs

I have always been one of those people seeking my North Star!

That thing that is big enough to inspire me, to move towards it and overcome obstacles but plausible enough for me to believe I can do… whatever it is ;-)

In my world of running and exploring, my North Star is defined clearly as a race which I can commit to and then break down the steps from here to there.

The equivalent of a completed race in my work life is not as clear…

Whats the outcome I want/need?

Is it a full coaching practice? Is it a signature series of workshops? Am I focussed on people having completed cancer treatment, exclusively? Do I just focus on men's work? Does Feel It truly find its feet this year and go bananas and I get to say that I dance badly for a living ;-)

I find that if I create this North Star, my mind builds all sorts of expectations.

Everything gets measured against a fictional clock and my progress is checked more often than my phone… and judgment is set against how close or far I am from this North Stars’s achievement.

Is the win here, a big corporate contract or is it a training academy, with the right accreditation? Or is it really the joy in figuring it all out - the journey?

Do I focus on 3 things that I love or drop two of them to focus fully on one? But I really love the variety of work I offer from music journeys to workshops to in-person coaching.

I was on the phone with a good friend of mine who can best be described as a master spiritual coach, Kate!

I asked what she was focussed on currently?

“Writing a book”

Why are you doing that?

“I have no fucking idea!” ;-)

Kate is real, funny and raw. She takes life with a pinch of salt, adds her massive sense of humor and is truly one the wisest of souls in my world.

Kate has learned to follow the breadcrumbs… left by some divine being, an alien, sweet baby Jesus himself or by some miraculous coincidence (pick what spiritual definition works best for you - all welcome here).

Over the past few years, I have noticed a growing number of co-incidences appearing with more regularity in my life.

How is this one…

I met Ben on a training weekend to become a Secret Sunrise facilitator 7 years ago. Ben is now a coach doing amazing work with men in the UK. We caught up the other day, online, to see how each other was doing.

A few weeks after we chatted, Ben mentions there is this guy Alister who he met in the UK and is doing this interesting massage type practice and could use someone familiar to give him the lay of the land in Hout Bay. He moved to Cape Town to see if he can get his massage practice off the ground as a business.

I met Alister for a coffee. Turns out he was trained in Harare Zimbabwe by my cousin who dived head first into a pool and broke her back. She developed MyoReformation as a way to heal herself.

Alister and I keep chatting and he passes on a client to me that builds hospitals across Africa, and after his cancer experience is inspiring a new North Star for holistic and integrated cancer treatment across Africa.

Oh, and this new client's name is the same name my father has had as a nickname for my mother, since their honeymoon!

Guess who has been focussed on supporting people through and past cancer for the last 17 years?

Yip - me ;-)

How does that work?

I found a book a number of years ago which really flipped the script for me. It's called The Surrender Experiment by a cool cat named Micheal Singer.

The book is a 40 year chronicle of the life of Singer who after a very significant spiritual experience decided to let go of his preference and simply let life call the shots.

In other words, he dedicated his full attention and energy to what showed up in his life, without thought of preference.

The book is, from my perspective, a 40 year master class in trusting life!

I now find more coincidences, more often in front of me.

The more bizarre and unexpected, the more I trust them.

Following the signs is far easier to navigate life than my previous obsession of finding my North Star and my destiny or purpose. (although to be fair - I only do work which has meaning and value for me these days so my North Star still exists but its no longer a vivid vision but rather a series of questions I ask myself to see if what ever I am looking at fits into what excites me)

Curiosity seems to grows from following the bread crumbs while measurement and ultimately judgement seems the result of too much focus on the North Star ;-)