trusting the unexpected

It feels like the definition of “unexpected surprise” over the last 24 months of covid has been more aligned to “shit happens” rather than “magic happens” ;-). This weekend however, nothing went according to plan. Not one thing and because of that specifically, it was phenomenal, in getting what I needed and not what I wanted.

Instead of being in Tulbagh on a retreat, I ended up on the peak of an epic mountain deeply exhausted, exceptionally happy overlooking a scene that looked like the moon... sleeping next to a solid chunk of snow, in the company of some of the best men I know.

I more recently have begun to use a guiding phrase each year which challenges me to stretch myself in a specific aspect or direction in my life. 2019’s was...

“Trust Life” 

This phrase has revealed multiple layers the more I have applied it to how I present myself in life. Fundamentally, I believe that whatever shows up in front of me, has more intelligence and purpose within it, than I might be aware of at the time, and that it serves me to explore a fresh perspective.

My practice and the practical application of this phrase in my everyday life is to use it to find value in whatever presents itself in my life, no matter my initial perception. 

Working with this phrase is inspiring, when what Life presents is AWEsome, like meeting the most amazing woman who truly fits me at the age of 44, after I had let go of the chance of ever meeting “that one”. 

It's harder and it felt like an impossible stretch to “Trust Life” when my uncle, who I have looked up to my whole life, physically began to die in front of my family and I, at least 2 hours away from help.

How could my uncle's literal fight for his life - 100km away from the closest hospital possibly be something I could “trust”?

Well.., turns out the emergency doctor at the hospital, after a ridiculously fast drive across gravel potholes, specialized in the unique surgery which my uncle was needing. And by unique I mean the repair specific to a whipple procedure - pretty damn specialized, if you have even heard of it ;-)

Now isn’t that an interesting coincidence!

Oh… and I don't drink alcohol anymore, so guess who was ready at 8pm on a Sunday braai night to rally drive my Oom to the emergency, as my cousin Dave kept him stable and conscious in the back - yet another convenient coincidence, one with a seemingly Divine hand at play ;-)

Every other time something challenging has risen to greet me, which was not expected and didn't seem to be a “good or favourable” thing, some really unexpected gift has sat just beneath the surface. 

Although I do measure my gifted “silver lining” mentality from my mother with a solid reality check nowadays, I have begun to realise that my initial judgment of any scenario has softened my anxiety, dropped judgmental and made me far more curious. 

Basically this inquiry has been fundamental in helping me manage stress, become a kinder human and drop a “victim” orientated mindset - replacing it with more curiosity and more acceptance.   

It's ironic that the gift in “Trust life” could school me so deeply into benefits I couldn't have imagined would result, from holding two words in my mind when anything happened. 

Thank you Claudette Moore for - Trust Life (2019 theme)

Thank you Jean Theron for - Why is this the best thing that has ever happened to me? (2020 theme)

Thank you Peter Crone for - Life will present you with people and circumstances to show you where you are not yet free! (2021 theme)

My new 31 August 2021 theme - If I trusted MYself fully, what action would I take right now! ;-)

trust life

“why is this the best thing that ever happened to me” - Jean Theron