panic into people - enables perspective and peace
There is this cycle I see in my clients, as well as myself.
It begins with panic
Panic about health
Panic about finances
Panic about relationships
Panic about … fill in the blank
This year of the snake becoming the year of the fire horse, seems from an esoteric perspective, to bring about a crisis in some space in our lives, at some point in time ;-)
For me…
In my 30’s it was my health
In my 40’s it was my relationships
In my 50’s it is my career
The pattern I see outside of myself as well as internally & experientially within, is that whatever part of my life I experience friction, change or intense growth it can serve me in its potential in culminating in a panic or crisis. Once enough time has passed in this panic, and feelings allowed to be felt, it is replaced by peace and greater perspective.
What I am saying here is very heady, so let me use my fine self as an example, so that it might make sense and hopefully bring you, if you are reading this, a perspective that this is a human thing and not an identity thing, and that this pattern can serve and allow us to move differently in life - joyfully.
In my 30’s I got diagnosed with cancer - it felt like absolute hell, until I had digested the feels and came to a truth that my habits birthed my health and I had the power to heal my health and become proactively healthy by exploring my choices with greater intention.
In my 40’s I hadn’t had much success with long term intimate relationships - it felt like I was destined for singledom. I worked with a clinician to dive into how I was unconsciously sabotaging myself - and I was! Once I reached a point, after a crisis.
It was as clear as day in my life, the moment this pattern changed and then, two weeks later I met my wife. Funny that ;-)
Now in my 50’s it’s my career.
I am super stubborn.
No, I mean really stubborn!
My stubbornness is chosen and intentional.
I will not do something for 8 hours a day if it’s not nourishing, grows me in the ways I wish to grow or set my gifts and skills alight. I just won't do it. I will live with the consequences.
I have been building two different offerings & specializations, growing skills in both, for over two decades. They are meaningful and are both growing but not to my expectations which has recently caused anxiety and financial pressure to build.
Enneagram in business - answers the existential question who am I and how do I get what I want. Most of us don’t work into this until we hit a crisis!
When I witness people, seeing themselves more clearly than they ever have and they begin appreciating their full humanity. Their kak and the epicness! It’s like they see themselves for the first time. It is a remarkable thing to be present for, in a world which feeds us messages of inadequacy with a side of fear and then fits a product in to fill the gap. Don’t believe advertising - those okes are putting kak into your mind ;-) (ok thats another blog)
It’s a remarkable place to be with another human being.
And this work is thankfully valued by major businesses, because it increases productivity and profitability.
The other service or mission I have, is in support of people who come out of the back end of a dance with cancer.
3 - 18 months post “remission” most people fall off a cliff if they have not used the experience to facilitate changes across their physical habits, mental stories and emotional patterning.
This also melts into an identity crisis which leads into the enneagram - who am I? And then how to make these tiny changes over time to literally reset the body, mind and spirit.
So back to my point. I believe in these offerings with such fervour, my conviction in their benefit is as strong as my belief that the sky is blue and that water is wet.
The end of the year of the snake, although I am not a follower of Chinese symbolism, religion or any formal or traditional perspective - a day came (16th February) when panic took hold of my nervous system.
Something ruptured and panic set in around financial security, career potential and how it related to my self image.
There were some logical ingredients which led to this, which make sense, but nothing made sense and gave logic around the sheer intensity of anxiety which stole my nervous system and went from 4 out of 10 on a bad day, to 12 out of 10.
Ironically the work I do for a living is a lot around the support of people who are in this state - I am gifted and have cultivated a skill of being the calm in a space, holding acceptance and non-judgment of what is currently present and guiding clients, when ready, to make intentional changes and build momentum through reflection. And in doing so create new patterns - healthier patterns.
I know that the best way to short circuit my mind's anxiety is to get into my physical body and stress its edges. This forces me out of my mental patterns and into my body which allows space and time for my mind and emotional stress patterns to reset - enough for me to redirect my mind and emotions.
4 hours into a deep adrenalin and cortisol dance needed a proper shift.
Rob messaged. Up for a surf at 4pm? YES
Rob is joy filled and wise.
All I had to say was yes! Salt water makes everything better - always!
Rob is a brother unafraid to dive deep, hold space and share observations and wisdom.
Monday's medicine with Robbo - his kids came to the beach to watch him surf. He lit up like a Christmas tree when he saw them waving at him. His whole energy changed dramatically and he shared (by proximity) - the value of humans and what we give to one another by our mere presence in appreciation and love.
That's all there really is, to which we all chase toward, no matter the how or what? Being loved and accepted - warts and all.
Next was my scheduled run with Paul and Zoe on Mondays. Paul is a human. Zoe is a smiling stick addict and border collie.
Zoe smiles and howls with joy - always.
Paul is kind and thoughtful.
That's his vibe. But he is %$@#en tough though. He took me up the East Fort Trail in Hout Bay in the hottest part of the day, at pace and wanted to chat all the way. That's Paul ;-)
Paul broke Brett ;-)
Once my body could not go on I slowed Paul down and we took the last part of the climb easier, although I was suitably shattered at the trail's peak altitude.
The deep push into my body's edge disabled the anxiety completely making the run down to our cars on chapmans peak this glide into calmness.
I went home and Marissa made me the most amazing and healthy meal.
Marissa is my bestie, fun buddy and my rock.
I have had three moments in my life when this type of panic escalated into a puncture, making way for harmony. And this harmony has facilitated such dense and good decision making that I find myself already, as of three days ago, deeply grateful for my choice to put my panic into people and puncture in presence. Thats a lot of P’s - cool hey :-)
The wisdom of this - when my life feels like overwhelm is in charge, I make two commitments to myself. My emergency self care protocol.
1 - PUSH HARD into my body as fiercely as is needed. The harder the better for me. Mind collapse into body reset. When the body has nothing left the mind can also has nothing to say!
2 - CHOOSE people and presence, those who nourish me and just be with them. I don't need to talk about anything. I just need to be with them. This is the power of good people around who we choose to be - our whole health's greatest secret ;-)
The result - clarity, confidence, mental space and being able to see myself and my path clearly and move in inspired action rather than fear filled responsive patterns.
I fucking love life in these moments. It feels like everything is serving me - bending to my will!
If you feel at odds right now, as I am seeing so many, or like the kids these are saying: you are at sixes and sevens.
What if this conflict or tension in your life needs to be fully felt while being held by trusted humans. That this faced into, this anxiety felt in full is deeply serving of you in finally releasing limiting beliefs and patterns. The secret is the people - thats the big caveat!
What if the worst thing or experience in your life, could actually be the greatest gift in disguise?
What if that was true?
If this lines up and you feel charged to explore it - message me. You are my ideal client ;-)
No AI used except for the image - All human here!
